Category: Dating and Relationships
Hello pp please help I meet some one that I think is my first bf on here but my family doesn't get it. their think I ammaking him up, and they think that he is out of my ling. but he is my age and we both feel like we are twins. please me exspain it to my family. also there think that I shound find some one face to face so please help me if you can. tell me what you had to do. thanks erica.
Wow, honey, let's start with your typing, or your spelling, or whatever it is. When you're going to post something to a topic, especially if you're the one who created the topic in the first place, at least run over the text you've written and read it with your screen reader before posting it. Even if everything's not spelled perfectly you will be able to make it much more clean and understandable. That, and, I'm sure that you're not dumb, but by not proof reading you will certainly appear to be to those who read your words. If it helps you can write out your post in a microsoft word document ahead of time and proof read it with out having to worry about the page accidentally getting refreshed or expiring before you've finished writing and have your post just right. You can also spell check your post in MSW before you coppy the text and then paste it into the edit field on the zone when posting to a board topic. Ok, now that that's out of the way. Explain to your family how well you know the person you want to date. Be able to tell them everything from what their favorit color, favorit candy bar, favorit movie, and least favorit vegetable is to what charictor from this or that TV show they would be, which color of crayon they'd be if they were a crayon, to what their pets' friends' and sibblings' names are, to what they plan to do with their life, what their career goals are, how they want to impact the world for the better, to what they are most afraid of, how their family situation is, and to their relationship history, their accademic history, their family history and how they stand on issues of morality, politics, religion and philosophy. Prove to your friends and family that you truly know this person. If you don't know them very well, well enough to answer most of those questions, or similar questions then you aren't ready for a relationship with this person anyway. But, if you can and if you really want to fight for this, then go for it. I wish you luck.
Wow Passionate&NaturalArtist. You must be a translator for the united nations.
I didn't understand anything the first poster said. I think she was drunk.
Bob
wow, I didn't understand a word of the first poster either.
I'm with you Chelsea! I have no idea what she's talking about either. Might I suggest you read every sentence before you write another one, or you use the preview before posting link. I don't pretend to be the best speller in the world, but at least the words make sense. Maybe if you retype the post, we'll be able to both help, and understand you.
Join the club, I didn't get the topic either. smile.
John
Hi Erica,
If I understand you correctly you have met someone here at the zone that you feel close to, that you consider to be your first boyfriend, well, so he is your first boyfriend on line I should suppose... And yes I understand where your parents are coming from in that to them, of an older generation, that bf and gf relationships are in those face to face meetings and encounters in life rather than the "New Age" as it were of meeting and getting to know others and feeling a close encounter with as though dating with that other in some respects... and Yes, you are dating on line as it were when you meet on a regular basis with that other and share in meaningful conversations. There is no harm from my point of understanding in guys and girls considering they have an on line bf/gf...especially when it is a first as it would seem you have not had face to face encounters, so dating is all very new to you and perhaps on line for now is best, a way to get experience in heart touching talking.
Erica, whether you and this on line bf of yours will ever meet in a face to face encounter, only time will tell. For now I encourage you to simply enjoy this time of sharing in meaningful conversation with another. As far as any of the rest of us here talking with your parents or getting them to understand or giving to you the words to say to them... well, any bf you have, whether on line or in a face to face situation...well, that is basically up to you and him to explain to them what the friendship is about and what it means to the two of you.
I think one point you need to take into consideration is that whether on line or in face to face meetings that
relationships change. That guys and girls meet, share and then go on their way... meeting others... I guess what I am trying to say is to realize that once you share your heart with another that heartaches too oft are apart of the situation...
Wishing you the best of friendships
Connie ~ Grace
Since when is someone considered drunk just because they talk in a manner that isn't another person's style of listening to.. It is one thing to mention to someone that you didn't understand what they said but quite another to come out and say you think they were drunk as to why you didn't understand what they were saying. Maybe Erica wasn't offended by your remarks... but I was. Not that it should matter to you BlBobby my feelings on this, except to say that in my opinion I think you owe Erica an apology. She came on board with a plea of, "...please help"
Yes, the writing was indeed a mess, but I am thinking that that might have been a result of extreme tiredness or emotional upset, or a combination of both. I think we have all successfully pointed out the messy nature of the post, some of us more politely and with more sensativity than others. Now let's try to help here, instead of being ass-holes. Ok? Oh, and thanks Grace.
Grace. We can each have our own opinions. Mine is that she was possibly drunk, and my evidence is the first post, and the title to this topic.
Perhaps your interpretation of her scrawls was correct, but, I doubt it. I think you are once again living in a fantasy world.
All I have to say is
apologize... I don't think so...
Bob
Bob,
Maybe if you would just stick with the Joke's Board for which you glory in...
As for me I will say it again, I think you owe Erica an apology.. Good grief you are old enough to be this very young lady's father.. she came asking for help and deserves none of your caustic abuse.
Just my opinion
Connie ~ Grace
hello and sits and hits and kicks bob. and thanks grace that will help me. and the two message Ican answer some of those questions about him. and I am going to say this bob I don't don't drink. and now bob not any one drink when their writting messages.
Good luck, Honey, with your relationship, and stay away from the drink as long as you can. lol Blind people can be funny to watch, as can drunk people, but drunk blind people are friggin halarious.
Bob, your drunk comment was harsh, to say the least....all she needs to do, is to make sure her posts make sense. Good luck on your relationship Erica, I understand your situation, some what, cause I to am in a long distence relationship.
AH well now that I understand the question, I'm going to second connie on this. Figgure out what your relationship means and approach your family that way.
Connie, it w sounded to me like you are purposeing that she bring her boyfriend into the family if they were to meet and have him help her to explain the relationship. I think this a bad idea. I have always been of the opinion that whomever is having problems with there family that they should bring it up by themselves. The boyfriend would be out of place and not in his right to go into her family's house to explain things his way without her talking to them and geting them to see that the relationship is for real first.
John
Greetings John,
In some respects we are at a same point of view in our thots in that where I was coming from is that we, as Zoners, being outside of this friendship can not approach Erica's family...that what the friendship is..it is and it is between the two of them. You are correct in that there is a need for Erica to explain what this on line friendship between her/her bf means to her parents by herself, giving them to understand where she is at in her own thots regarding all of this situation.... and at some point my thots are that if they are serious enough about wanting on line friendship to a point of desiring to meet then at some point there is a need for him to talk to with her parents as my thots are that Erica is still at home living... (This talking being initially by say e-mail, not his directly entering into their home) Kinda more so of an introduction and so her parents can know this is real or more so gone to a further step (if that be the situation) and that he is not say a predator.
My last statement reflecting more so my personal attitudes as one being a Mom...if I were to have a daughter (I don't, I have sons) yet still, if I had a daughter I would want to meet any on line bfs of hers before she were to go out on an actual face to face date with any of them...in particular if she were quite young and still living at home.
For now my thots are it is enough that Erica has those of us here that she can share her thots with as she works this out and learns what fits for her/her bf/her families lifestyle. John, I would personally like to say ThankYou to you for joining in on this talk..a caring male perspective is helpful. These are the types of conversations where we all can come away learning from...well, at least I was enabled to clarify some of my thots by your sharing. Thanks ~ this really is a working through it all.
Connie ~ Grace
Connie I hear what you are saying. I know from experience that guys aren't exactly trusted by a girl's parrents. To some exstent I can see why. I also agree that if it gets serious enough that the boyfriend should talk to her parents on the internet with her there perhaps to make him feel more comfortable. It is not easy to proove yourself but once you g get that trust with your girlfriend's parents it is all worth it. All the miss givings will be gone and the relationship can blossem at that point.
John
Ah Erica listen to Grace. I don't really think your parents would feel any different if he came to the house, or met on the net. Boyfriends are always suspect tell proven otherwise, then there suspect anyway. Lol. Read Grace's first post carefully, for she is correct in many things, forget the rest.
Hugs.
First, chill out, people. So Bob said he thought she was drunk. If that's what he thought, doesn't he have the right to say so? And anyway, on first reading that comment I took away from it that it was meant in a light-hearted sort of way, not as a direct criticism. Even if that's not the case, it gave me a slight chuckle.
As for the actual topic, Grace and Heather pretty much said it all. Show your family that you're really into this, that you're serious about it and would really like their acceptance and support. While I agree with John that it is best to work out family problems within the family, I also think that speaking with the boy in question might help things a bit, in that it would allow them to have some contact with him and maybe be able to perceive him more as an actual person, not just some online something. And if you're planning to eventually meet this person face to face, I think speaking with the parents is an absolutely necessary step. Best of luck to you; I hope it all works out.
I agree. If you ever intend to meet in person then it is vital that he speak to your parents, not just over the net, but on the phone. Also, if and when you decide to meet it would probably be best if he came to stay with you at your house. If you broach the subject to your parents, eventually, of him coming to meet you, they are much more likely to be receptive if they know that he will be staying under their roof, that you won't be going off to meet him at his home or in a hotel. It will show them that you are responsible, mature and careful and also that you respect their feelings and want them to be as comfortable with this as they possibly can be. Hope this helps.
you should find someone face to face. How can you be in love with a human over a machine or telephone wire?
Erica: I think that most of the things said here are true. I will say, speaking from my past that you might want to have him talk to your mom and dad but on the same hand, not knowing your age I am going to assume that you are over 18. if that is the case really you can do wat you want but respect is key. I am happy to talk with you any time and I am all ears.